


A Pale Reflection of a Broken Soul

by pseudofoucault333



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Bloodplay, Bondage, Branding, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s02e13 Exit Wounds, M/M, Mental Abuse, Non Consensual, Physical Abuse, Rape, Season 2 spoilers, Season/Series 02, Torture, implied character deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 19:11:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gray took over more than Jack’s life…..He took over the man with fire who refuses to believe he’s dead. But when Jack finally comes to save the day will his lover still be the same man he knew and loved or someone completely different…broken by his younger brother? </p><p>Written for Kink Big Bang '09</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Like the Scream of a Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be sure to give people with a weak stomach a heads up at the more graphic chapters but if they or the concept for this fic are triggers for you I suggest you don't read. :)

**Title:** A Pale reflection of a Broken Soul  
 **Author:** **Rating:** R -NC17  
 **Pairing:** Jack/Ianto, Gray/Ianto, John/Ianto  
 **POV:** Ianto  
 **Summary:** Gray took over more than Jack’s life…..He took over the man with fire who refuses to believe he’s dead. But when Jack finally comes to save the day will his lover still be the same man he knew and loved or someone completely different…broken by his younger brother?  
 **Warnings:** rape, non con, torture, bondage, drug use, blood play.  
 **Disclaimer:** The whole concept of torchwood © the awesomeness that is the BBC, don’t sue because the contents of my bank account is only worth about a third of the amount in European currency. Plot mostly based on fiction…i.e. not real….but a girl can wish  <3 Title © Extol.  
 **Author Notes:** Comments etc really appreciated. Beta'd by **pylarwoman** and art by **draw_yourworld** :D

 

Finding out Jack was gone the first time was a bad enough blow but finding out he was buried alive under the foundations of Cardiff was excruciating. Part of me prayed that Jack was still alive; Owen and Tosh were already dead as this man who claimed to be Jack’s brother had had great pleasure in telling us. I’d heard Gwen crying, once he was gone, at the knowledge and all I’d been able to do was just lie there with my jacket under my head trying to come up with a way to stop this from happening. In the first few days we’d counted on John to help us, but after Gray figured out what he’d done with a ring he’d used me to reattach the explosives to his arm. Now there was just Gwen and me.

Thing was Gray wasn’t interested in Gwen like his brother was. He was fixated on me. In the beginning I’d asked John about Gray in the hopes that it would help, but instead all it did was make me even more afraid.

“From what I know, Eye Candy, whatever it was that tortured Gray was devious. They taught him torture techniques I never knew existed…”

“How do you know this?” Gwen asked from her cell in between the two of us. 

“Let’s just say, to get the bomb on me, he demonstrated a lot.”

“Oh, please no! Both brothers? Seriously!” 

“Hey, I had no choice, ok? You try getting some asshole not to attach some explosive to your arm when he’s fucking you!”

“So he’s gay?” Gwen asked hopefully.

“Sex is just sex to him, love….though he seems to have the tendency to lean towards guys, much like J….” he paused before he said Jack’s name, but we knew who he meant. John seemed to be taking his ex’s unknown demise as badly as me and Gwen put together.

“So it’s either you…..or Ianto he’ll target?” Gwen asked quietly, her hope disappearing.

“I can assure you, love, he’s had me once and doesn’t want me again.”

“Whoa, wait!” I said before he could go any further.

“He did say he wanted every part of Jack’s life, Eye Candy, and while you can try and deny it I‘d say you’re a pretty big part of it.”

I didn’t need to be facing him to know the look he was giving me. I wish I could be out of this cell to smack it off him.

“I am not letting that psychotic asshole touch me!” I yelled loud enough for both of them to hear though Gwen immediately jumped to his defence.

“He wasn’t saying that, Ianto! Were you, John?” 

He didn’t reply to her question and I sighed as I pushed myself to sit upright.

“But yes, John, not that it’s any of your bloody business but Jack is a big part of my life and vice versa and I refuse to give up on him.”

“No-one is asking you to give up on him….but come on, Ianto, you are most likely our only chance to get out of here even if it means using his fixation on you to do it.” 

The sound of footsteps silenced our rather heated conversation and I reluctantly leaned back on the bench, staring at the unconscious weevil at my feet, though the sound of the door opening caused me to look up. He was standing in the doorway with the gun in his steady grip, pointing it at me. In a knee jerk reaction my hands sprung up, staring at him as I waited for him to say something.

“Up.”

I swallowed but slowly got to my feet, keeping my gaze locked with his as though daring him to try and make a move. When I was standing before him he grabbed my arm in a tight grip and pulled me out of the cell, I could hear Gwen banging on the window of her cell trying to distract Gray so I could make a run for it. But it made no difference, his fingers clasped tightly into my shoulder as the gun pointed at her window.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Abruptly Gwen stopped her actions and retreated back to her bench, Gray pulling me towards the door out of the cell block. His grip remained on me the whole time; we were walking up the stairs. I bit my lip as we got closer to the hub though when we entered I could hardly stop the horror from appearing on my face.

The computers had all been unplugged and smashed to pieces; congealing blood was in a trail covering the floor towards the autopsy bay like he had dragged a corpse down there to experiment on. I swallowed as he pushed me to keep moving through the blood, leaving indents on the floor from my shoes. As soon as this is over I’m going to throw them into a furnace.

He continued to push me until we got to the boardroom which seemed to have been transformed into a replica of Jack’s office, with a mock up of Tosh’s workstation as the centre. The large table was smashed to pieces in a corner, the chairs flung around, though what was on the plasma TV in the wall caught my attention even as my obsessive side made a list of things I would need to fix once this was over. It showed different views of the cells, from the outside corridors to inside each one as though make sure we hadn’t escaped. Fuck, for all I know he could have been eavesdropping on our conversation.

As soon as he got inside he shut the doors and slid a plank from the smashed table between the handles to lock us in. The gun fell to rest on his desk and I slowly put my hands down, watching him in case of any sudden movements. 

At first he didn’t say anything though I could feel him pacing around me while my gaze remained on the ground, as though he was looking me over like a piece of ass he wanted to fuck, but there was no way I was going to let that happen. I refused to give up on Jack so easily.

“So what were you to Jack?” he finally asked, his gaze moving from my hips to my face. His voice lacked the usual tenderness I had come to associate with my lover.

“Professionally or personally?” I asked quietly.

“Personally? Really?” he said raising an eyebrow as his hand grazed over my ass, causing my whole body to stiffen. But regardless I nodded in response to his question.

“Hmmm, and here I was thinking he was a workaholic or….I don’t know….he favoured one of those two,” he said with a sly smirk, gesturing to the picture on the TV screen.

I closed my eyes and swallowed as his thumb traced a trail over my ass until it was practically following the seam of my pants between my ass cheeks.

“Though I have to admit he has good taste, and from what I can feel he’s trained you well.”

I bit back the many remarks I wanted to make even as I felt his thumb pushing hard between my ass cheeks through the material of my suit pants. Like he was trying to stimulate my opening until I was begging for him to fuck me. Not gonna happen….yet it still made my body unconsciously aroused. No, he’s not Jack!

“Yes….so very well trained. One implication of penetration inside you and you’re practically panting with anticipation.” He smirked.

“I’m not doing anything,” I denied, though he seemed to catch both meanings behind the statement as he narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, you will. Jack is gone…..thus making you mine.”

“I refuse to believe that. He’ll come back like he has many times before. And I am not and will never be yours,” I said, though it seemed to make him angry as his hands wrapped around my wrists, the dry skin of his palms scraping like a brick my own skin as he pushed them behind my back until my hands were resting in the small of my back.

“I will break you,” he hissed in my ear. “Break every bit of confidence you have in my brother until it’s nothing but shattered pieces where your soul used to be. And then you will be fucking begging me to fuck you. To stick my cock in your mouth, to fill you….to make you feel some kind of pleasure…..that will be all you know and the only reason for which you exist.”

His grip on my wrists tightened until I was practically hissing with pain at the uncomfortable position.

“And I’m going to love every minute of it.”


	2. A Highway of Emptiness

A chill ran through my bones at the knowledge that he seemed so dead set on causing me pain with a deadly purpose, as opposed to the loving yet addictive torture Jack used on me, whether it was his mouth around my cock or his hands teasing my body while we were in a staff meeting. I had never ever been subjected to something like this before. I managed to stop myself from reacting physically and emotionally to his threat, gritting my teeth behind pursed lips. A humourless laugh immerged from his lips as he let go, before turning his attention back to the screens. I paused to rub some feeling back into my wrists and waited for his next string of demeaning words, but they didn’t come and I was too afraid to leave without his permission in case I was punished for it later.

My mind seemed to wander until the faint scent of strawberries seemed to waft in my nostrils, my body reacting almost as though it was Jack’s beautifully scented pheromones in such a close proximity. Immediately my body stiffened as my slow and exhausted mind seemed to put two and two together. Shit....if Gray was Jack’s brother he would have just as much of an advantage as his brother when it came to attracting people....meaning he would know how to use those pheromones against me. 

“Ah...so my brother did tell you about the wonders of 51st century pheromones?” he seemed to purr, his lips resting against my neck nipping teasingly at the skin while the scent of strawberries drowned my senses. Oh, now that was so not fair!

“Um hm....” I said, trying to tense my body up to keep me alert against what he was trying to do, but every nerve in my body seemed intoxicated by the want to fuck....to be as close to the source of that deliciously addictive scent as humanly possible.

“And I’m guessing that’s how he trained you so well? Throw a little pheromone your way and you become a mass of orgasms waiting to happen, huh?” he asked, the tip of his tongue trailing from the base of my neck to behind my left ear.

“He didn’t train me....and I....I....” I tried to keep my train of thought going but the feel of his tongue against my skin seemed to keep distracting me and my body was reacting accordingly. 

“You what? You’re more than just some source of sexual pleasure? Please....save your breath. You know as well as I do that’s what you are. I can feel your heart racing as I’m licking your neck....quite a perfect rhythm actually. A rhythm that would be perfect to set our own pace to...”

“Stop it....” My protests were weakening while my body inched closer to breaking under the pressure at the spell he was conjuring over me. He was barely touching me and yet all I wanted was to let him have his way...anything as long as it meant I didn’t have to be in this situation longer than I had to.

“No. In fact how about I make things easier for you, huh?” he whispered, his hand brushing from my waist down to my hips before pulling the zip of my trousers down. My back arched involuntarily against his chest and a groan of ‘NO!” came from my lips as his dirty fingers slid inside my trousers and boxers, fondling my steadily growing arousal which seemed to get bigger and harder.

“You want this....” he breathed in my ear, squeezing me hard and causing me to gasp and pant while his fingers brushed up and down my length. “...you can try and deny it all you want, Bright Eyes, but you want this.”

I wanted to deny it....wanted to keep strong but the strawberries seemed to have sucked my breath away with my words and my usually strong demeanour. I was the very thing that I hated and it seemed to make the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach destined to overtake the ecstasy shaking my body. Yet it only seemed to get worse when his fingers left my length and pushed my trousers down my hips so they pooled around my feet, my boxers soon following their lead. I screwed my eyes closed and swallowed as I felt his rough tipped fingers scraping against the skin of my hips, over the tops of my thighs and then following the line of my pelvis back to my arousal. A gasp was torn from my throat as he gave a sharp tug to my cock and then his touch was gone again, his fingers undoing the buttons of my waistcoat and shirt. 

“Kick your trousers and boxers away and lean against the desk,” he murmured in my ear, his voice twinged with lust and arousal. I felt his presence still lingering behind me even as he let go and heard him pulling his shirt over his head like he wanted to have a little bit more skin to skin contact. Reluctantly I did as he asked, kicking the garments from my ankles to join the pile on the floor where my shirt and waistcoat now rested. I gripped my hands tightly against the edge of the desk and bowed my head, silently praying that he would give up if I just let him have what he wanted, even though I knew there was no guarantee it would do more harm than good. His fingertips grazed against my waist and then I felt him shove himself inside me, causing me to cry out and tears to fall down my cheeks that weren’t exactly helped by the way his grip on my flesh got tighter and tighter with his nails digging into my skin. 

It was completely different to being with Jack and that only seemed to make it worse in my mind, because I had needed the reassurance that came into my mind when I was with my lover which helped me to fool myself into believing that this wasn’t real. But it was. It was so real it was painful and all I wanted to do was cry in agony every time he shoved himself deeper inside me to the point where my prostate felt like it was being punched with each thrust. The pleasure seemed to be building in the pit of my stomach and I closed my eyes, trying to will it to go away. To remind my body this wasn’t Jack, and I wasn’t going to satisfy this asshole’s thirst for taking something from me that his brother had always been able to satisfy so freely. 

But it was a lost cause. 

My grip on the edge of the desk tightened as the orgasm flowed through every inch of my body, ripping a groan from my throat against my wishes and causing my legs to shake at the pressure. He continued to keep shoving inside me until he got his own release, taking a step from behind me and letting my body collapse to the floor. 

It seemed like hours I spent in his presence with him in me, his long fingers tipped with sharp nails digging into the flesh of my waist and causing deep marks I knew I wouldn’t be able to get rid of even if I scrubbed my skin clean. When he finally left me like a child who had got bored by a minute old toy and pulled his pants back up, I watched from the floor as he went to check the monitors to see what Gwen and John were talking about. I pushed myself up so I was kneeling on the carpeted floor, flinching as my knees scrapped against the material, staring up at the ceiling to try and bring me some sense of calm. To assure me that if Jack did come back he would understand when I told him what had happened and that I felt nothing for his sadistic brother. 

But I didn’t have much time to relax because Gray had pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed me by the arm, using it as leverage to drag me to my feet. I cringed at the sound of clicking bone and only just managed to catch my clothes when he threw them at me because my legs were still shaking.

“Back to my cell?” I murmured, my bruised lips making it hell on earth to even attempt to talk.

“Nah....I want to be able to come to you in privacy when I want something.....in fact from what John told me....didn’t my dearest brother have a bed here?” he asked, watching as I managed to pull my boxers and waistcoat on.

“He did....under his office,” I said stiffly, trying not to let him know how much the thought of John being in Jack’s quarters bothered me.

“Hmmm, guess there’s still some nooks and crannies I need to familiarise myself with then...” He grinned, pulling the plank out from the door handles and resting it against the edge of his desk for future use, before grabbing me by the bicep and pushing me ahead to lead the way.

Reluctantly I led him towards Jack’s office, watching him look it over with little interest as I edged towards the opening to his quarters. I threw my clothes down first before climbing down the ladder, moving to one side as he followed my lead.

“Huh....Well, I have to say one thing for him....he surely loved a challenge...” Gray said, his gaze moving to the single bed and taking a glance at me as though for me to confirm the fact which I refused, keeping my gaze fixated on the ground.

“Ok....you’ll be staying here then....It’s definitely a step up from what your friends have to put up with.” He nodded, linking his arm around a rut in the ladder, his gaze still moving up and down my figure.

I nodded silently but knew he was waiting for something, like a thank you for giving me special treatment for being his personal whore. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you....” he said with a mocking sneer that made me want to cry.

“Thank you.....master,” I whispered hoarsely, managing not to flinch as his rough palm rested under my chin and pulled my gaze to meet his.

“Get some rest....you look like you need it,” he said, digging his teeth into my bottom lip causing me to restrain every urge in my body to cry out or groan with need.

When he let go of me I watched him climb up the ladder and waited until I heard the door to Jack’s office close behind him before sinking on to the bed.

I was his personal whore and there was no way I could hold out as long as I thought I would, his pheromones were just as effective as Jack’s turning me into a writhing mass of orgasms just waiting for him. I didn’t want to be this way....and I cursed Jack’s species for being so sexually advanced.

I laid on the bed, curled up on my side, and pulled Jack’s sheets over me letting the scent of his pheromones drown out Gray’s, which had stuck to me like some kind of rash while he’d been fucking me. It was a comfort, but only a little, compared to how it would feel to have Jack’s body beside me in the squashed bunk. Our limbs tangled together, his lips pressing reassuring kisses to my neck in the middle of the night and the feel of his chest grazing my back. It only helped me to distinguish how different the two brothers were and miss Jack a whole lot more.

I stared at the wall and tried to make myself sleep, to think of anything but the fact that any time Gray could appear and make me do a deeper and more painful act than the first time. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach returned and got harder and harder to suppress as the tears fell down my cheeks on the pillow but the exhaustion seemed to push my mind that little bit further over the edge, into an unconscious state where I found Jack’s face before my eyes like he had been waiting for me the whole time.

_“Ianto...hey....I was wondering what was taking you so long.” He smiled, that bright smile I was so accustomed to seeing first thing in the morning but now something about it seemed faded, like he had an inkling that something bad was happening._

_“Oh god, Jack, I miss you....” I whispered hoarsely and he hushed me as his arms wrapped around my abused form and pulled me close._

_“Hey hey....It’s ok...everything is fine, Yan...” he whispered in a soothing tone in my ear, kissing my forehead and my neck as he gently rocked our interlinked bodies in unison._

_“Where are you? Why aren’t you saving us....Gray is....”_

_“I would save you if I could, Ianto, but at the moment things are making it a bit difficult. So I need you to just hang on for me, ok? Just stay wherever Gray’s keeping you....remain strong like I know you are and we’ll be together soon. I promise,” he assured me softly._

_“But, Jack....I’m so scared....”_

_“I know, Yan...I really wish I could get you out of there...but I just need you to hang on. Can you do that?”_

_“Yeah....I’ll try,” I murmured, my voice wavering with fear against the skin of his neck._

_“Good....now let me just hold you.”_

_I pressed a kiss of reassurance to his chin that I needed as much as he did and let him guide my body to the floor, a plain wooden floor in the middle of a spotlight. He was dressed just like the last time I’d seen him in his uniform yet there was mud covering the skin of his face, neck and hands. He wrapped his coat over our bodies and wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me close._


	3. There's blood on the moon

I woke to the sound of the door to Jack’s office closing and tensed at the knowledge Gray was coming back into Jack’s space. I bit my lip as I pushed myself upright and watched Gray’s boots appear at the top of the ladder.

“Ah, so you’re awake, Bright Eyes. I was kind of hoping I might have to wake you up myself,” he said with a twisted smile as he leaned against the ladder.

“Sorry to disappoint,” I forced, kicking Jack’s sheets off me and reluctantly sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, not to worry....you have the perfect way to make it up to me.” He smiled, sitting beside me on the bed, invading my personal space and causing a chill of disgust to flow through me.

“And what might that be?” I asked crossing my arms over my bare chest and trying not to let my imagination run away with me.

“Well, I was thinking....It’s been a while since I’ve had a good wash, but I guess that’s expected after everything. So I was thinking that you giving me a good soothing bath would be just what I needed to feel a bit more....me,” he said, tilting his head at me like he was waiting for my reaction.

I wanted to tell him where to shove his idea but Jack’s soothing presence was lingering in the back of my mind and assuring me I could do this. Ok....one step at a time, Ianto....you can do this.

“I’ll run it for you now....” I said softly, about to get to my feet when I felt his hand on my knee pinning me in place.

“But before you do that I was thinking...maybe you should join me. Maybe show me a little more skin,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

I swallowed and stripped my body of the little clothing covering my skin, waiting for him to let go of my knee before getting to my feet. I took a few deep breaths once I entered the bathroom and made sure to run the water as quickly as possible to restrain the urge to curse in any way. I remained leaning over the tub with my hand in the water to ensure it was just the right temperature so that I could help save myself from any unnecessary brutality. Once it was a good enough temperature I slid the plug in place and sat on the edge, letting my mind wander to thoughts of Jack and me in here on those nights when the others left early. Now all those memories were going to be pushed away by his monster of a brother.

“Bright Eyes...is it done yet?”

A chill ran through my body at the sound of that pet name he’d chosen for me in his voice and I bit my lip to restrain any snarky remarks he could use against me, keeping my gaze on the water level until it seemed likely to overflow. I turned it off and dutifully walked back into the bedroom where he was still sitting amongst Jack’s sheets.

“Your bath is ready.....” I restrained the urge to call him sir, because it went against every fibre of my being, and saw him raise an eyebrow like he knew it was on the very tip of my tongue.

He offered me a hand to help him up. My skin seemed to crawl as I did just that, leading him into the bathroom, feeling more self conscious at my nude form.

He stood by the side of the bath like he was waiting for me to undress him like a child and I felt the urge to roll my eyes growing. He was really taking this too far, to get me to do what he wanted, but I also had a feeling he was waiting for me to disobey him so he could show me who was the boss. Jack’s voice had told me to remain strong and if I knew Jack as well as I did that meant do anything to survive.

Reluctantly I pulled his shirt over his head, which I then threw into the corner, and moved my hands around his waist to undo his pants from behind. He stepped out of them and kicked them to join his shirt before slipping out of his shoes. He seemed to have the same philosophy about going commando as Jack did and his arousal was practically waiting for action, but I managed to keep my gaze restricted to his face.

“Shall I help you in...?” I asked, cursing my mind that seemed to want to wander down his torso.

“Of course...and then I want you to straddle my thighs while you wash me...Think you can do that?” he asked, raising his eyebrow again.

“Sure,” I said softly, knowing exactly what he had planned for that moment even though I wished I didn’t.

I grabbed his hand to steady him as he got into the bath, watching him inch himself under the water, before turning to Jack’s cupboard to find some soap, that I had brought him for Christmas but that he complained about being allergic to, and a wash cloth. I then stepped into the bath at his parted shins waiting for him to get settled before kneeling either side of his thighs pretending not to notice the feel of his cock growing harder and harder against my inner thigh.

I dipped the wash cloth under the water beside his head a few times before scrubbing it with soap and beginning to get rid of the mud on his neck.

“Did you and my brother ever do this?” he asked, grazing his hands up and down my thighs lazily, tracing his index fingers along the junction of my inner thighs causing me to stiffen my posture.

“Not this specifically...” I said softly, dunking the wash cloth beneath the water once the dirt was gone and repeating the same with his face, his eyelids flickering every time I touched them with the cloth.

“But he would let you wash him or fuck you within the bath?” he asked, grazing an index finger down the trail of hair over my navel to my erection.

“Only once....just to wash,” I said softly, dunking the wash cloth under the water before grabbing one of his hands at the wrist and cleaning the dirt from his fingers.

“Wow....I never thought he would be such a prude. Having a handsome man in a bath tub with him and he didn’t even try to kiss you, let alone fuck you.”

“He’s less of a prude than you seem to think.” I sighed, dunking both wash cloth and his hand under the water before grabbing the other which was trying to stimulate my arousal with just a hand job, making me all the more fixated on keeping my mind clear.

“Really? Then what’s he done that is not proper? I’m all ears,” he asked, resting his free hand back on my thigh as his feet rested at the ankle over the edge of the bath.

“Fucked me on his desk....several times....and the archives...” I said, off-hand, refusing to add any of the more intimate places he had fucked me at to the list.

“Wow....I’m impressed. Has he ever done anything kinky like...handcuffing you....tying you up....or anything like that?” he asked as I dunked the washcloth and his hand under the water again before adding more soap to the cloth for his feet.

“Depends what you define as kinky.” I shrugged, guiding his leg to bend at the knee before me so I could work on scrubbing it properly.

“Any of those,” he sighed.

“No....because he knows I won’t like them.” 

“And how will you know that if you don’t try them?” he asked.

“I....ugh, no more talk about your brother....” I sighed, expecting him to snap at my attitude, instead all he did was shrug and cast his gaze to the ceiling.

I managed to wash the rest of his form and his hair before making to get out of his lap as my legs were numb from sitting in the same position for so long, when he shook his head and pressed his hand on to my thigh hard.

“Oh no, you don’t. Sit back down.”

I threw the wash cloth into the sink and ignored the part of my mind that was screaming I had known this was coming why the hell had I expected him to let me off so easily.

He pushed himself upright so his back leaned against the inside of the bath and rested a hand on the back of my neck as his cock seemed to grow harder at the knowledge I would do whatever he wanted. I swallowed and felt his hand pushing my head forward until our lips collided. My mouth didn’t respond to his advances and his tongue managed to push its way in between my lips, causing the need to hurl to flow through me. I let him get his way and pulled back when his hand let go of my neck, making to get up again when he rolled his eyes and pulled me back down.

“Oh, come on, you seriously think that I would make you strip if all I wanted was for you to wash me? I may seem like a softie, Bright Eyes, but no....I told you I will break you and have you begging to have me inside of you. You are going to take every inch of me and like it no matter what morals fill your head.” He grinned.

I swallowed and stiffened as I felt his fingers breaching my hole. Three all at once was pain beyond anything I had ever felt before. Yet it seemed like he was more than happy to cause me pain to get what he wanted. His other hand rested on my waist, directing me in the right position before I felt his fingers pull out and then the head of him was stretching my hole just a little more. A chill ran through my body and my hands gripped the sides of the bath to keep my balance as he lowered me on to him.

“You are going to ride me....and beg for more like a whore. You hear me?” he hissed.

I screwed my eyes closed as he pushed me down until he was filling me up and all I could feel was pain through every nerve in my body. It quickly got to the point where I felt detached from my body as I rode his lap like some whore in a stripper’s joint, groaning, writhing and panting as he thrust up into a rhythm I was finding hard to match. 

“Oh god....” I groaned, my grip on the sides of the bath tightening as our bodies moved, while I tried to fool myself into believing it was Jack. It seemed like it was becoming a pattern already, fucking Gray but keeping Jack in mind to make it pleasurable. There was no telling what kind of psychological damage I would have by the time Jack returned.

I felt his hands pulling on my cock, causing the pressure in my stomach to build at what seemed like an extraordinary rate, leading me to throw my head back and begin begging him; sounding so desperate to my own ears, it was humiliating. Finally I came in a mass of over sensitive stimulation and arousal over his chest. My body felt so spent that I just wanted to collapse and let it recover but he refused to let it happen, continuing to thrust inside me over and over until I heard the tell tale groan echoing around the room. I swallowed and opened my eyes to see Gray arching his back against the inside of the bath tub, a look of contentment on his face.

“You can clean your cum off me and then get out....” he murmured, meeting my gaze as his hands slid from my thighs to rest behind his head.

“Should I get the cloth?” I whispered, not sure I would be able to keep my balance even if I tried to get up. I couldn’t feel my legs anymore.

“No....your tongue works doesn’t it?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked at me.

My back clicked in protest as I leaned over his torso and licked the cum from his chest, watching his back arch against the bath to keep my tongue in contact with his skin. 

Reluctantly I let my tongue detour up to his nipple to suck and play with it teasingly until his hand was back behind my neck making our lips meet again. His tongue played with mine to indulge in the taste of my cum before letting me pull back and get up on to unsteady legs.

“Come back in ten minutes with towels....and only wear your waist coat. Nothing else is necessary,” he said softly.

I nodded and managed to clamber out of the tub, nearly falling against the sink. I grabbed the wash cloth and pushed it under the running cold tap before leaving him alone. Once I reached Jack’s bunk I leaned against the wall. I closed my eyes as I wrapped the wash cloth over two fingers and gently pried them inside me, wincing a little at the pain as I cleaned his essence from inside me obsessively like someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when they saw a spot of dirt on the floor that they couldn’t get rid of. Once I was convinced I had got rid of every molecule of him inside me from that day and the night before I threw the cloth to one side. I swallowed as I grabbed a few towels from the cupboard and put them on the bed while picking up my waistcoat from the side of the bed to put back on. 

I spent a while pacing back and forth, raking my fingers through my hair to calm myself a little before grabbing the towels and returning to the bathroom. I threw one towel on the floor and put the other to one side before turning to him.

“Ah, Bright Eyes....great timing...” He smiled, pushing himself upright in the bath of what was now dirty brown water. I tried to avoid looking at the water as I offered him a hand to help him out. I then wrapped the towel around his waist and turned my attention to the bath tub, pulling out the plug and running the tap to help it go down the plug faster.

“When you’ve done that....find me some clothes to wear, huh? I’ll be waiting....” he whispered in my ear, his hand grazing my hip before walking into Jack’s quarters.

I swallowed once he was gone and leaned my forehead against the outside of the bath. I took a few breaths and checked all remnant dirt was completely gone before turning off the tap and walking into the room. I reluctantly rummaged through Jack’s closet for some clothes he never wore, while Gray sat on the bed watching me. I soon found some jeans and a baggy t-shirt in the very back and handed them to him, before sitting back on the bed. 

He got dressed in a flash and soon sat back beside me, his hand grazing my thigh while his lips brushed my neck.

“I’ve got to go check on your friends....I’ll be back,” he murmured, licking a stripe from the base of my neck to my chin before pulling my lips to meet his. I looked back at the floor as he climbed the ladder and waited until I heard Jack’s office door close before getting up. I grabbed the dirty wash cloth and his clothes from the bathroom before throwing them into a plastic bag.

I curled up on my side beneath Jack’s sheets, screwing my eyes closed and trying to stop from bursting into tears at being so used by this person who had no regard for my feelings but was just using me because I was convenient, a pretty face with bright blue eyes and a good body, not to mention I had been his brother’s lover. And it was obvious how much he hated Jack, though I never understood why.

As time passed my exhausted body shut down and I was soon sleeping again with my mind filled with Jack’s beautiful smile, bright yet soft eyes and the smell of his rose scented pheromones taking over those senses which had recently become so used to being filled with strawberries.


	4. There's blood on my face sitting on a dead shore

For a couple of days Gray didn’t come back. He stayed in his makeshift office and did god knows what to Gwen and John, though when he did appear he wasn’t his usual mellow or sexually fixated self. He was filled with anger....it seemed to radiate off him in waves that made me scared to be in his presence since the last time I’d seen him this way had been when he first fucked me against my will. Yet part of me was glad to see him despite how much I wanted to deny it. My stomach felt like it was eating itself, and sleeping for hours at a time because I couldn’t think of anything else to do seemed like a waste of time, leaving me feeling groggy. It was often hard to tell what was real and what I’d dreamt. Though the alternative was being fucked five different ways, all as painful as the last, so it was obvious which I preferred.

He appeared as I was drowsing back into another nap and I pushed my body to sit back upright, swallowing as he paced back and forth, his mouth a firm line of concentration. I wanted to say something, to ask him what was wrong or something but I couldn’t make myself say the words.

“So....I thought you should know I’m going to kill John Hart...” he said, finally stopping to look at me. 

I wanted to ask him why, and though deep down I didn’t care if John died, after what he had tried to do and the amount of times he had tried to kill the team, not to mention bringing Gray here in the first place, I made myself say it regardless.

“Why do you want to do that?” I whispered, shifting nervously under his gaze and casting my gaze on the ground.

“Because....I know he’s planning something to bring his precious Jack back...and I can’t let that happen,” he said simply, beginning to pace again.

“What makes you think I don’t want Jack back too?” I asked, knowing there was a good chance he would snap at me.

“Why would you want that lying asshole back, Bright Eyes? You can’t honestly believe that he loves you....would die for you.....not to mention really believe everything that he tells you is the truth.”

“I do believe that he loves me because I love him, Gray. Nothing is ever going to stop that from being the case. There may be some things that he hadn’t told me for one reason or another but I trust him more than any other person in my life,” I said softly, my gaze on the ground as I felt his gaze on me harden.

“You really are some kind of fool for someone so good-looking.” He sighed, rolling his eyes as he loomed over me tauntingly, causing me to swallow nervously.

“And that’s one of the only reasons you picked me, isn’t it? Not just because I was Jack’s lover and you wanted to get back at him in the worst way possible, and you wanted to completely take over his life, but because I was the one with the blue eyes and the body that makes you want to jump me,” I said accusingly, though bit my lip as he stopped in mid step and leaned over my body, his gaze pinned on my face.

“My brother is a heartless bastard, Bright Eyes, and yet for some stupid reason, from what John told me, he seems very fixated on you and you alone.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t consider yourself anything like him even if you have killed people and buried your own brother under the foundation of Cardiff,” I spat, watching as a shadow seemed to cross his features, telling me I’d gone too far and was going to pay for it.

“I don’t think you want to go there,” he murmured, his stormy green eyes meeting mine and chilling me to the core, making me instinctively shake my head in agreement at the statement as he took a few steps towards me.

“Good boy,” he whispered in my ear, making me shiver in disgust. “But for being so disobedient you need to remove your clothes for me.”

I swallowed and slid off the bed onto unsteady legs, shrugging the waistcoat off and letting the boxers I’d put on pool around my feet while my gaze remained locked on his face. The tips of his fingers traced my cheekbones until they rested at my lips. I parted them when his index and middle finger tried to slide into my mouth and let my tongue graze the pads of his fingertips, but he soon pushed them in deeper until my neck was shuddering involuntarily at my gag reflex, his fingers pressed down hard on the inside of my mouth until I felt my knees give way. My gaze locked with his when he pulled my head back before pulling his fingers from my mouth with a pop.

The taste of his skin remained stuck on my taste buds as he unzipped the jeans of Jack’s and stood before me with his half hard cock trying to seek out my attention. My lips were still parted even as I looked up at him, my senses and consciousness completely submerged under the scent of strawberries, like he was drawing me towards him without saying a word or making a gesture.

I found my hands clinging to his hips as I crawled towards him on my knees, my lips grazing his thigh and following a trail up to the base of his erection causing a shudder to run through him. The tip of my tongue followed the length of him, gently sucking on the head. He looked like he was going to fall but he let me steer him towards the bottom of the ladder, my knees scrapping against the cold rough tiles that covered the floor. His hands moved from where they’d been threading through my hair to cling to the sides of the ladder. 

I still felt like I wasn’t myself, like his pheromones were blocking out my consciousness and my body had been set to default, with the primal wants taking control. All I knew was how to fuck and suck this animal before me in the ways he liked. 

“Keep your eyes on mine, Bright Eyes,” he murmured as I continued to suck the head of his erection like it was my only purpose in life, before tracing the length of him with the tips of my fingers. I made myself look up and found the stormy clouds had given way to a practically perfect yet deeply entrancing green. I refused to let myself drown in them even if it was what he wanted, pretending the eyes were blue and sparkling with the unspoken innuendos he longed to say. Ok...that made it a bit easier....

Without warning he thrust himself down my throat but my body didn’t seem to register the pain. I made myself keep looking at him, letting my tongue trace every inch and swallowing....though as my throat seemed to respond to each motion, I just let myself go along for the ride. The sooner it was over the sooner he’d leave me alone....hopefully.

I made myself swallow a few more times, watching how his body shook a little at the muscles contracting around the sensitive skin of his cock, before he let out a soft groan and a bitter taste filled my mouth, pulling me out of the pheromone induced spell. He moved one hand from the ladder to graze under my chin before gripping it tightly with thumb and index finger. He refused to let my mouth let go of his cock and I could feel myself choking horribly. It was like I was drowning under water with no way of coming up for air, while his hand held my head down. Fuck.

Finally he guided my jaw open and slid himself out of my mouth, watching me with a twisted grin as I gasped for air, clinging to the rung of the ladder beside his shin to help me regain my balance. But when I made like I was going to get up he rested his hand back on my head and guided my mouth back to his cock.

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,” he said in that authoritative voice he had used before to tell me to undress.

Again I wanted to say no, but the strawberries were flowing through my nostrils and making me open my mouth and hang my tongue over my bottom teeth and lip.

He used my mouth to wipe away the rest of the cum stuck to his cock before pulling out of my mouth and pushing himself back into his jeans. I came back to myself as he was pulling me by the arm back to my feet.

“You’ve been such a good boy, Bright eyes...that I’m going to give you a treat.” He smiled in a sickly-sweet way that made me want to gag even more than when I’d had his cock down my throat. “Want to know what it is?”

I shook my head as I tried to pry his fingers from my arm.

“Oh come now, don’t be so ungrateful, Bright Eyes. You’ll be the main attraction....the star....I won’t be able to do it without you.”

“Do.....what without me?” I made myself ask, though there was a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that said I was probably better off not knowing.

“That’s better.” He smiled grazing my cheek with his free hand as he steered me back towards the bed. “You’re going to help me kill John.”

“What?” I asked, my eyes widening with shock as he pushed me down on to the bed and let me go.

“You....my dear loyal....beautiful....Bright Eyes....are going to be the bait...and the one who presses the button to blow up your lover’s ex.” He smiled.

“I.....no! You can’t make me be the one to do that! If you want him dead so bad then you should do it!” I said, pleadingly, hoping he wouldn’t make me go through with it. God, I hated John with a bloody passion but I knew that if Jack came back and found out I’d been one who blew John to kingdom come he’d never forgive me. Hell, it could be the thing that broke us up. It was then it seemed to click....that was exactly why Gray was making me do it. Shit. 

“Oh, but I can make you do that, Bright Eyes. To be honest you don’t exactly have much choice in the matter...” He smiled, watching me get willingly on my knees before him.

“No. Gray, please....I....Please...I’ll do anything you want....just please don’t make me do that,” I begged. I knew my pride was being thrown out the window and that this was confirming to him that he had got his wish of me being his mindless sex slave, but I honestly didn’t care. I would do anything to make sure I didn’t have to do it.

“Anything, huh?” he said, tilting his head like he was really thinking it through.

“Anything! I’ll....er....I’ll give you another blow job....a hand job.....I’ll let you tie me up....handcuff me....rape me....I’ll be submissive....you can cut me up....brand me... whatever....I honestly don’t care, just don’t make me do it!” I begged.

A cruel smile crossed his face at some of the things I mentioned and I knew he was getting ideas which he would no doubt enjoy subjecting me to, but no sooner had it appeared than it was gone and his eyes were back to a stormy sky, hiding from me whatever he was planning.

“I’ll consider it, Bright Eyes....and let you know. I’ll be back tonight with my decision....and maybe a few games we can play,” he said, pulling me to my feet and backing me up against the closet door before enveloping my lips in a kiss that told me I was so going to regret this decision.


	5. A tear spills down his cheek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has an awful lot of torture and non con [technically yes it is considered Non-con even if Ianto said he'd deal] so if that's a trigger for you don't read. I'll understand ^_^ xo

Once Gray left I spent a few hours lying on Jack’s bed without a thread of clothing on, my form not being able to find the energy to get to my feet. Jack’s soothing voice was echoing in my head over and over, trying to calm down the gradually building anxiety as I stared at the closed man-hole cover and waited for the inevitable moment when I knew Gray would reappear and subject me to more pain and humiliation, using my situation as the guy who would rather be fucked seven ways to hell than kill his lover’s ex to get what he wanted from my body. 

I had made my eyes closed so my mind could supply the pleasurable images of nights being together with Jack, to give me something to look forward to when this was all over, but it was like Gray had been waiting for me to give up or even to appear like I was sleeping as I heard the man-hole cover being pulled open. I managed to restrain the urge to sigh, letting him get his wish as the sight of Jack’s orgasm face painted itself on my eyelids and made me ache for him to be there in front of me so I didn’t have to merely stick to memory, when I knew I could have the real thing. Finally I heard what sounded like the click of a match being lit and something being removed from a paper bag and opened my eyes.

Gray had put a chipped plate from the kitchenette in the main hub on the bed beside my curled up form, which had what looked like a whole pizza on it. The eerie glow of candle light caused shadows to dance over the walls around us. It was almost like he was trying to make this as romantic as possible, yet that thought didn’t exactly compute with me after all the other things he’d subjected me to.

“Ah.....so you are actually awake then?” Gray asked, tilting his head and pushing a smile on his face as he met my gaze.

“I.....er....yeah. What’s going on?” I asked, pushing myself upright and pulling Jack’s sheets modestly over my body to hide my nude form despite the fact he’d already seen me naked a few times. Old habits never change.

“I brought you some food....I charged it to Torchwood’s account, hope you don’t mind.” He shrugged, pushing himself off the bed and pulling another candle out of a paper bag to light from another one perched on the book case.

“Not at all.....but that wasn’t what I meant,” I said, trying to ignore my mouth watering as the smell of the pizza reached my nostrils. Ham and Pineapple, my favourite.

“Ah, you’re wondering why I’m not dragging you up against the wall for a fuck, huh?” he said, picking up the paper bag he’d got the candles from and pushing it under the pillow as I leaned against the wall.

“Pretty much....did you think about my proposal?” I asked carefully, reaching for the pizza when my stomach began to growl in protest.

“More than thought about it, Bright Eyes. I’ve come up with many a thing I want to do to you....so does that give you your answer?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled Jack’s t-shirt over his head and undid his jeans with the same lack of modesty.

I nearly burned my tongue on the mouthful of pizza I’d just put in my mouth at the revelation that he had actually agreed to it. Fuck....I must be doing something right if I can talk him out of his plans.

He climbed on to the bed beside me and sat there just watching me eat my pizza like it was the most fascinating show he’d ever seen, the way Jack did on one of our rare dates. I knew my sister would scold me for not offering him some, despite the fact he was a murderous psychopath.

“Would you.....like some?” I murmured, through a bite of pizza as I pushed the plate towards him.

“No thanks. I’m not exactly partial to 21st century food.....doesn’t agree with my stomach,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair as he stared at the ceiling.

“You sure? Have you even tried it?” I asked, after I swallowed.

“I did try a piece before I gave the other pizza to your friends....trust me, it’s best you don’t see that,” he said.

I nodded and managed to eat the half of the pizza so that I was comfortably full before putting the plate on the ground of the floor. I looked back at him once I was upright again and knew I should do something to get things going but he seemed to have already plotted out his strategy as he edged closer to me and pressed a kiss to my lips. His tongue took a swipe against my own that made me groan a little as I felt his hands graze down my sides and manoeuvre me on to my back, kicking the sheets to the floor in the process.

Immediately his lips moved back from mine to nip at my neck and caused my back to arch against the bed while my head tilted upright to give him more access. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what he was doing and that I was trading my soul for a person’s life, even if that person hated my very being, but I knew it was something that Jack would appreciate much more than learning his precious lover was a murderer by association.

As his lips and teeth were distracting my neck I felt one of his hands sliding from my side to bury under the pillow. At that moment I was indulging so much at the effect his lips were having on my body that I didn’t even notice until I heard the clicking of chains causing me to stiffen as my words came back to haunt me.

 _‘I’ll....er....I’ll give you another blow job....a hand job.....I’ll let you tie me up....handcuff me....rape me....I’ll be submissive....you can cut me up....brand me... whatever....I honestly don’t care just don’t make me do it!’_

Shit.

His lips kept moving, despite the fact my enthusiasm was fading, and I felt him push himself upright so he was straddling my thighs as he clicked a handcuff around one of my wrists. I was relieved to a point that Jack hadn’t brought a headboard for this bed. Whenever I’d begged him for one he’d said it was pointless, but that didn’t seem to deter Gray as he manoeuvred my arm so it was beside my head before pulling my other arm up to mirror it. He clicked the second cuff closed around the closed cuff of another set and made me lift my head so the intertwined handcuffs were resting against the back of my skull and clicked the remaining handcuff around my other wrist leaving my hands completely immobile and the rest of my body at his mercy.

He smiled as he met my gaze and pressed another probing kiss to my lips, though I didn’t respond like I had before, merely opening my mouth for his tongue. He pulled back and tilted his head to look in my eyes for a moment before he bit the right side of my neck again. This time it wasn’t tender and intimate but more like he was fixated on breaking the skin. I gasped and cried out, trying to make him stop by any means necessary, but with my hands not able to move and with him straddling my thighs the sense of resignation seemed to set in. I’d told him I would do this....and now I would just have to deal with the consequences of my big mouth.

The smell of blood entered the atmosphere, telling me he’d hit his target, followed by the sting in my neck as he licked the blood away. I screwed my eyes closed but he slapped me to make them open, meeting his gaze and practically hearing him say, ‘That wasn’t part of the deal, Bright Eyes.’

I licked my dried lips and watched him pull the bag from under the pillow, rummaging through it like he was trying to decide which of his favourite toys to play with first. Finally he pulled out a cock ring and slid it down my length until it was wrapped around the base, which was an easy enough thing to do since I wasn’t exactly aroused at that moment, but then I saw the knife make an appearance out of the bag and my eyes widened. Oh shit.

“So....if I remember rightly, Bright Eyes....this was one of things you were willing to let me do...and yet I don’t understand why this would affect your arousal...unless I’m missing something,” he said thoughtfully, tapping the edge of the blade against his lips.

“I....I.....” I couldn’t make myself speak as he licked the blade with the tip of his tongue, not even stopping when it began to bleed before he cut a G shape into my left shoulder, ignoring me as I cursed with each stroke. Admittedly it wasn’t big but every cut hurt like hell. 

His bleeding tongue dragged over the bleeding cuts on my arm before sucking the skin clean like a leech. He licked his lips, painting the red on to them and making me think of a bloodthirsty vampire. 

“Ah....so this does get you hard, huh?” He smirked, his gaze grazing down my form until it was pinned on my arousal, causing me to grimace. Dammit.

He put the blade to one side, after digging it into my thigh and leaving a deep wound as bad as the one on my neck, before separating my legs and beginning to suck on the wound. His tongue kept detouring to the delicately sensitive skin of my inner thighs, my weak spot that had me aching for him to do whatever he wanted as long as I got my release. But he seemed to have more planned. He pulled away from my body, despite the moan of protest that was pulled from my mouth, and pulled me up on to my knees before him. He then guided me so I was on my knees with my head down and my hands still behind my head.

His finger tips grazed against my sides and hips before he thrust into me so hard that a few tears fell down my cheeks. Oh god...why the hell had I been stupid enough to agree to this again? 

I tried to keep my mind under control so it wasn’t shaking or showing any sign of pain, that would only make him do it even more, but it didn’t seem worth trying when he repeated the gesture again, causing me to bite my lip even harder. I tried to move my hands from the position over my head but my arms ached in protest when I tried to change their position, so they slid down my neck, maybe even manoeuvring them so they rested in the small of my back. It didn’t seem worth the pain as he bit into the wound on my neck again from behind, causing my head to tilt back. The rhythm continued against my ass before I heard him groan against the back of my neck. I screwed my eyes closed as my heart raced against my chest in an erratic pattern I wasn’t even used to feeling before. 

He pulled himself from me with one gesture before pushing me on to my side, which was hard to do on the limited space of the bed, and meeting my gaze.

“You ok there, Bright Eyes? You haven’t been putting up much of a fight like before,” he said against the skin of my shoulder.

“What’s the point?” I sighed, testing the slack of the handcuffs a bit more even though I knew it would make no difference.

“Oh come on, you could at least pretend you give a crap,” he said, grazing his fingers over my cheek and causing me to flinch but not to dignify his comment with a response.

“Fine....blow job it is, then. Maybe then you’ll be able to come up with a better response.” He smiled, pressing his cock against my lips.

I wanted to roll my eyes and deny him it, but it seemed pointless so I parted them and let the underbelly of his cock graze against my teeth, causing a shiver of pleasure to flow through him. Like the time before I let my tongue graze the delicate skin, hollowing my cheeks as I sucked at the whole length of his cock, letting his pheromones enter my senses all over again and make the situation not seem real. It didn’t take long for him to come down my throat, pulling his flaccid cock from between my lips and rolling me back on to my back.

“Now....just one more little detail and I’ll leave you alone.” He smiled, leaning off the bed while I stared at the ceiling and prayed to god it would be over.

He grabbed one of the lit candles and whatever he had in the bag before straddling my thighs again. I watched as he stared at the candle’s flame like he was waiting for something amazing to happen but that was when I felt the pain over my right hip, causing me to hiss with pain.

“See.....another thing you suggested was to brand you. Now, like with the knife, I couldn’t understand how anyone could get such gratification from such an act until it sunk in. You like knowing who you belong to....don’t you?” He smiled.

I whined in response to his question and knew he was taking it as a yes.

“I thought so. And while I would love nothing more than to brand you with a family brand....it would imply that you belong to my brother as well as me. Let’s just say we can’t be having that.” He smirked.

I looked down and saw he was pouring melted wax on to my right hip where I’d felt the pain before. I cried out and arched my back, trying to make it stop, but he pressed down on the centre of my stomach to stop me. He watched the wax dry on my skin, despite my cries of pain as it blistered, before pulling it off. I then felt him push something cold against the burning skin and tried to look down to see what it was, but could only see the back of his head obstructing my view.

I couldn’t have imagined what he was going to do next as he pulled back, peeling the cold object away, and then I saw the knife from before. My eyes widened as he began to carve something into the thin skin of my hip. It looked like a symbol of an ancient civilisation and he was using the indent he’d made with the metal thing as a guide to make it accurate. It was excruciating, the skin was still sensitive and blistering, and while I wanted to make him stop, something kept holding me back, making me stop like the submissive in me was screaming that I deserved this pain. That it was an honour to have the master’s mark on my lowly body, but he wasn’t my master and the mere thought of such a thing scared me. 

Finally the feeling of the blade against my hip stopped and he was replacing the candle and putting something around his neck. 

“May....May I see what you did?” I asked in the smallest voice I could muster.

A smile appeared on his face as he nodded, removing some keys from the paper bag and using them to undo the handcuffs before dragging me to the bathroom. He pulled me away from the sink so I was able to see, and what I saw horrified me. He had in fact branded me. It looked like he had attempted to brand me with the wax like people used to seal letters with, back in the old days. But when it hadn’t worked he’d come up with the alternative. It was much like when he’d cut the G into my arm, only it was intricately carved, which seemed to do the symbol justice.

“Is it.....permanent?” I asked softly, grazing the fingers of my right hand over the still blistering area of my hip, cringing when it stung.

“It’s deep enough so it’ll scar, but yes,” he said.

“And.....may I ask what it means?” I whispered softly.

The smile was a little brighter this time as he sat on the side of the bath and watched me partly admire and partly stare at the symbol.

“In the 51st century....we do not have an alphanumeric system like you. We have symbols representing our family names and our first names. The one right there....represents my first name,” he said softly.

“But why not brand me with....” I stopped before I finished my sentence as the knowledge seemed to come to me.

“Ah, now you realise why I would not give you my family’s symbol,” he said, tilting his head.

“Because that would mean I’d belong to both of you....not just you,” I whispered.

“Exactly. You are mine, Bright Eyes. Maybe not physically, emotionally or spiritually but mentally you are mine,” he said.

“No. I’m not.”

“Yes. Your body still responds to me even if you fight it....I still get a reaction that is not specific to the pheromones. If you didn’t want me.... in any way at all, that wouldn’t be possible. I may not know much about 21st century males but I know that much,” he said, pushing himself upright and wrapping one arm around my waist while his other hand grazed against the symbol on my skin, the warmth of the skin of his chest radiating through my whole body and causing a chill to flow through me. 

“Is that....why you have that scar on the side of your neck?” I asked softly, looking at the affected skin in the mirror.

“No. This scar is something else,” he said, his entire demeanour stiffening as soon as I mentioned it.

“May I ask what?”

“No....you may not. You’ll go back to the bed and sleep,” he said, his voice changing back to the authoritative tone I’d come to associate with him, leaving me to shake a little but nod as I returned to the bunker.

I curled up under the sheets and in a way I probably expected that he was going to actually stay and sleep beside me for once, but when he appeared he pulled his clothes back on, blew out the candles and put them into the bag along with the knife and handcuffs. I wanted to ask if he would stay...but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to handle the knowing look on his face so I pretended I was sleeping to postpone the possibility. Finally I felt him pressing a kiss to the G on my shoulder, causing me to open my eyes and meet his gaze.

“Oh, and before I forget, Bright Eyes....” He smiled, tilting his head as he brushed my hair out of my face, which left me to be intoxicated by his eyes for that split second, before I seemed to be pulled back to reality when I heard those words I’d been dreading hearing come from between his lips. “....you’re still going to be pressing the button.”

My body stiffened as I tried to push myself upright but he hushed me and winked before grabbing the bag and walking towards the ladder.

“Thanks for the opportunity though.” 

Once I heard Jack’s office door close, I immediately felt like I wanted to throw up. I had let him do all of this to my body but the cause hadn’t justified it in any way. I stared at the wall and tried to calm myself down by thinking of Jack’s voice whispering soothing comments in my head. I just prayed it would enough to help me sleep through the night so I could do what Gray asked with a minimal amount of injury as possible.


	6. A bomb, bright eyes and stockholm syndrome.

I was awoken what felt like minutes later to the sight of Gray standing beside my bed, watching me in a way that made me want to squirm in my own skin. 

“I was just about to wake you myself,” he said with a smile that only made the uncomfortable feeling deepen.

I pushed the covers off my body and began to gather all my clothes from where I’d left them a couple of days ago, all the while ignoring how Gray’s gaze moved over my skin. I felt it lingering on the symbol on my hip but managed to ask him if I could shower before he got me to do whatever. He agreed, on the condition he did with me and while I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic at the idea at least I’d be able to get clean in some form or another. 

He undressed while I warmed up the water, put my clothes to one side and gathered together a few towels for us when we were done. I returned to the bathroom to find him standing before the mirror, brushing his fingertips over the scarred side of his neck like he was remembering my curiosity about it from the night before. 

I made a small noise to get his attention and offered him my hand. He bypassed it by wrapping his right arm possessively around my waist, so that his hand rested on my mutilated hip. Once we were under the water our lips met and it came to me so naturally to let him get his way, for his teeth to dig into my lip and his tongue to pry a response from my own by grazing against the top of my mouth. His finger tips remained on my hip, grazing the skin possessively, as though to remind himself it was there, as his mouth moved from mine to kiss the side of my neck. His tongue then drew a stripe across my left shoulder before his teeth brushed against the other mark he had made against my skin, causing a chill to flow through me.

I reached for the shampoo, expecting him to want me to service him like I’d done in the bath the second time he was in the bunker, but he grabbed my hand and guided it down at my side before grabbing it with his free hand. It was fairly intimate how he set about washing me, how his fingertips scrubbed at my scalp with the shampoo and his hands grazed softly over the skin of my chest with the soap. If I hadn’t been there to experience it I would never have believed he was capable of doing such a thing, but at the same time it reminded me of his kiss from the night before. The kiss that ignited the spark. It was like there really was more to him than what I saw, but the mask he’d been wearing since whatever happened to him had become permanent.

Finally he let me return the favour, standing behind him and brushing the soap up and down his torso, letting my lips graze against the unscarred side of his neck, but I hesitated. The urge to kiss the other side was so hard to resist. What if it hurt him...? It was strange that I was even contemplating doing something so intimate to him. 

“May I....” I stopped myself before the whole sentence came from between my lips, but it was like he understood what I was asking.

“Be gentle.” He sighed, though it was a resigned sigh, like he would prefer that I didn’t but thought he’d let me be the one to make the decision. I softly brushed my lips along his jaw, watching him grimace out of the corner of my eye when my lips touched the scar, before slowly brushing them in a path over the centre of the scarred tissue. I hesitantly brushed the tip of my tongue over the mangled skin but he didn’t seem to mind. It made me wonder for the millionth time since I first laid eyes on him what exactly had happened to him. After a while he guided my lips back to his by the back of my head and I knew that he thought that was enough time to fixate on his imperfections.

When I pulled back I washed his hair and made myself restrain the urge to ask the unspoken question on the tip of my tongue. I let him turn off the water as I opened the shower door and reached out to gather the towels. While I expected him to tell me to get down on my knees and suck him off, he took the towel and wrapped it around his waist. I watched him brush past me and took my time putting my own towel around my waist, giving him time to get dressed.

“We’re taking John out in fifteen minutes, Bright Eyes. Don’t be late,” he said softly once I heard the sound of his clothes being pulled on. I then heard him throw the towel to one side and leave the bunker.

I immerged from the shower and picked through my clothes for any of the cleaner items to wear. I pulled my shirt and waistcoat on, bypassing my underwear and pulling my trousers on, before throwing the unused garments onto Jack’s bed. I spent a while running my fingers through my hair before making myself climb up the ladder. He hadn’t exactly said where I was supposed to meet him but I had a feeling he wanted to talk to me before he got John from the cells.

Nervously I edged out of Jack’s office and took the path down to Gray’s room, where he was staring at something in his hand. I bit my lip as I knocked on the opened door and saw him give me a wistful smile as he beckoned for me to come in. Out of habit I closed the door behind me and buried my hands into the pockets of my trousers as he got to his feet.

“So there’s something I wanted to speak to you about before we fetched John,” he said, his voice filled with a business-like tone.

I nodded and waited for him to get down to the point.

“I don’t doubt that John told you about how I got the bomb on his arm....” he said.

“He may have mentioned it....what does this have to do with me?” I asked with a frown.

“Well, as dumb as Hart is, I doubt he’ll fall for the same thing twice,” he said with a smile as he paced back and forth before looking at me. “That’s where you come in.”

“Whoa! You said I’d have to push a button, you didn’t say I had to seduce him to attach a bomb to his arm,” I said, my eyes widening.

“Well, I could put it on him while he’s passed out, but come on, Bright Eyes, it wouldn’t be much fun. Besides, I’m sure secretly you’ve always wanted to get into his pants,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“No...”

“Well, regardless, you’re still getting your chance. I’m going to knock out John and load him into the jeep. Come meet me in the car park yes?” he said, pushing a device into my hand.

I nodded unsurely and watched him grab a few items before leaving the room.

I looked down at the item and felt my stomach clench in disgust. I couldn’t believe that he was whoring me out now to get his dirty work done. I mean, him fucking me was fine....as much as it sickened me I could deal with that, but making me fuck Jack’s ex just for the sake of putting a bomb on his figure is insane. I reluctantly pushed the item into the pocket of my trousers and turned my gaze to the screens showing the inside of the cells. Gray had opened the door to John’s cell and bashed him in the forehead with the butt of his gun causing him to fall to the ground. I bit my lip as I watched him push the gun into the waist band of the jeans before using a fireman’s hold to put John over his shoulder. He carried him out into the corridor and clicked the cell shut before leaving by the nearest exit to the Hub.

I bustled out of the room and opened the cog door to take the back exit out onto the wharf. I don’t know why I didn’t run for help....why I didn’t run home...any psychiatrist would call it Stockholm Syndrome I suppose, but maybe in a sick way I wanted to see him kill John. 

I walked the path to the jeep, hugging myself against the night’s cold and spotted Gray opening the boot of the jeep. I hovered to the side as I watched him put zip ties around John’s ankles and wrists in case he woke up, before slamming the boot shut. I let him push me towards the driver’s seat since he obviously didn’t know how to drive. 

“Where.....where are we going?” I asked as I clicked my seat belt closed and pushed the keys he’d pressed into my fingers into the ignition.

“Anywhere an explosion won’t look suspicious,” he said, looking at me expectantly as though he was sure I had some clue of such a place.

I swallowed as I turned the car on and backed out of the parking space, just letting my mind drive because my body was too physically exhausted. Twenty minutes later we arrived at a familiar warehouse that caused me to swallow nervously in remembrance. It was the warehouse where Jack and I had caught Myfawny, where it had all started. I pulled the keys out of the ignition when we were parked down the side of the warehouse and slid out of the jeep at the same time as Gray. I opened the boot and watched Gray push some more restraining equipment into the waistband of his pants before putting John back over his shoulder. 

“You stay here.....I’ll come get you when he’s conscious,” he said, the authoritative tone back in his voice which made me nod, as I clicked the boot shut and leaned against the side of the jeep.

I watched Gray disappear into the warehouse, only looking away once the door was closed behind him. I knew I could call Rhi and ask her to come pick me up....but that would mean explaining why I was here in the first place, let alone leaving the Torchwood jeep alone in the middle of nowhere...which would make Jack kill me when he did come back. I could call UNIT and get them to seize the Hub....but I doubt they’d be so happy....helping out Torchwood was never exactly high on their list of priorities. Great. I really didn’t have much choice. 

“Bright Eyes.”

I heard his voice from the darkness and pushed myself away from the warehouse to approach the door, when I felt Gray grab my wrist and pull me so my back made painfully hard contact with the side of the building. I heard John groaning as he came around from inside and bit my lip as I met Gray’s gaze. 

“Now’s your time to shine, Bright Eyes. Don’t let me down,” he whispered against the healing wound on my neck before he grabbed me and dragged me inside.


	7. Physical manipulation, planting a bomb....and the repercussions of the explosion

I could feel Gray watching me as I stood in the middle of the warehouse looking at the battered form of John, who didn’t exactly look happy to see me, and I definitely prayed I hadn’t been brought here for the purpose that Jack would have used the con man for. 

“What are you waiting for?” I heard Gray hiss and made myself walk forward on shaking legs to John, who began to pull against his restraints which had his arms and legs pinned to the floor. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Eye Candy?” John asked, his eyes wide as he looked up and down my form like he was trying to psyche me out, and it made me relieved for a moment that he couldn’t see the bomb Gray had hidden in the pocket of my pants back at the Hub.

“I....I’m....” I wanted to say how sorry I was, that I had no control over what I was doing but the words didn’t seem capable of reaching my mouth. I managed to catch his gaze and give him a look that portrayed my lack of control.

“No talking!” Gray barked, causing me to flinch as I took another few hesitant steps forward before dropping to my hands and knees and crawling over to his form. I stopped at the top of John’s thighs to undo his pants and slide my hand inside the material to graze the head of his cock. 

He moaned and began to writhe against the floor, practically begging me to keep going but I knew that wasn’t what Gray had in mind for bringing me here. He wanted me to attach the bomb and shy away like some kind of virgin or slave that would only be fucked by him and do what he asked when he wanted it. 

But with my psyche already in tatters and my body covered in a rainbow of marks, what else did I have to lose?

Hastily I pushed John’s pants down to his ankles, undoing my own while shifting in his lap so the usual buzz of pain flowed through my body as I impaled myself on him. I let him set the rhythm, his hips jerking erratically, with my body along for the ride, leaving my hands free to pull the bomb from my pocket. John didn’t seem to notice, his mind filled with pleasure and arousal as I undid one restraint from his left wrist. The scar from the previous time was still visible and it made me swallow, letting out a moan of satisfaction as he hit that spot of pleasure inside of me over and over. But before I could let him pull me over the edge I wrapped the bomb around his wrist with shaking fingers before replacing the restraint.

I leaned back in his lap and let myself give in, rocking against his hips and making the right noises to encourage him. Finally it was over and I felt Gray grab me by the back of my shirt, pulling me on to unsteady legs. He wrapped an arm around my waist to steady me before pressing a few buttons on his wrist strap, which brought John back from his blissful haze, cursing and calling both of us several names I’d never heard before as the bomb fused back to the skin of his forearm. 

I managed to redo my pants while Gray laughed at John’s pain, but from the way John’s face paled he obviously knew what was happening and what Gray was planning, something he didn’t want to see.

“Well, John....I never thought you would be so easily sucked in by a pair of big blue eyes again.” Gray grinned, letting go of me as he approached John’s detained form and leaving me to struggle to keep my balance.

“I didn’t exactly have much choice...did I?” John hissed, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Not really....but come on...surely you can understand why Jack likes him so much. Not many can be that good.” Gray grinned.

“I’ve had better.” John glowered at me, making me look away and try to regain some balance.

“Now now, John....don’t be so mean, not many people would do what Bright Eyes just did....fuck someone to save their own skin.” 

I cast my gaze at the ground and tried to black out the rest of their conversation I’d done my part and Gray should be letting me leave or at least return me to the Hub, but I was torn from my thoughts when I felt Gray grab me.

“Well, I’d love to say it’s been good knowing you, John, but I bet you’re wishing you never laid eyes on me so....me and Bright Eyes are going to leave you here....to be blown up,” he said with a smirk that made the repressed fear deep inside me return in full force. 

I let Gray drag me by the wrist outside of the warehouse, the door slamming closed behind him. I wanted to ask what his plan was now.....we were bound to get blown up if we stayed around here long enough, but the mad look in his eyes was back and I just wanted to get it over with. 

He pulled me towards the side of the next warehouse over and pinned me against it, like he had done before we entered to do the deed with John. He met my gaze for a while before his lips corrupted mine and while the kiss wasn’t intimate it was bruising, like he was trying to make sure I knew who I belonged to, but it was kind of hard to forget with the pain flowing through my body from the friction my pants were making with my skin. His hands moved down my body, repositioning my arms so they rested either side of my head, and yet as he kissed me again, I felt him threading his wrist with the vortex manipulator on it through my fingers so that my index finger was resting on the button that would detonate John’s bomb. Deep in the back of my mind I was trying to restrain the reflex which seemed to make it worse for him when he hated me disobeying him.

“Don’t be stupid, Bright Eyes, you know as well as I do that he deserves to die after what he’s done....and how much he’s been with my brother. And even if I have to force you to push the button it will happen,” he whispered against my lips as his free hand grazed back down to my pants, undoing the zip and grazing the length of my cock, with his finger tips getting that ever present reaction that I couldn’t stop.

I bit my lip as my back arched involuntarily against the wall, refusing to let him get the pleasure of knowing how this was affecting me even if he already knew. I was disgusted with myself but I knew what he said was the truth. It was inevitably going to happen no matter how much I tried to prolong it. John couldn’t get away while he was tied up.

“You know you like this, Bright Eyes. You love the way my hand feels on your cock....don’t you?” he whispered only loud enough for me to hear.

I tried to whimper in denial but it came as an affirmation as his teeth sunk deeper into my lip, that made me look down at the ground.

“Oh no, you don’t. Look at me,” he whispered, his hand on my wrist squeezing it so hard that I looked up and could feel the tears building under the surface.

His pace on my cock got more and more erratic and my lower body seemed to love it, moving in a similar pace like it was craving more of the friction, it was like it was confirming what Gray was saying and also that as soon as I hit my orgasm I wouldn’t have to be in control. Gray could make me push the button and I’d be none the wiser. Sure I’d have blown up Torchwood property and murdered a 51st century con man but I would be alive and in Torchwood. Living is always the best outcome you can hope to achieve.

I banged my head back against the wall of the warehouse as my orgasm finally hit me, flowing through every nerve in my body and leaving me to feel like I was in a higher place with no control over my body. I gasped as I came down from the high as my index finger shuddered over the button. The warm feeling of Gray’s hand around my cock disappeared as I felt him use the index finger of his other hand to put pressure on my own to make me press down on the button.

The explosion was deafening. I felt like my eardrums had been burst, and I was on the ground as I watched Gray stare at the sight before him like it was a utopia he’d never want to forget. I swallowed and put my hands over my ears to try and stop the ringing, while checking that the rest of my body was ok. It seemed like my hearing was the only real issue. I looked at the sight and saw the warehouse was in ruins, the roof and walls were in pieces, flying everywhere. I just hoped I didn’t see any pieces of John’s corpse. Even though I’d been working with corpses for one and half years, that would have been gruesome. 

Gray finally came back to reality and pulled me to my feet, before leading the way back towards the jeep. I pulled the keys from my dust covered pants and opened it, climbing into the driver’s seat as Gray jumped into the passenger seat, still looking, fascinated, over his shoulder at the scene.

I heard the sound of fire engine sirens through the ringing in my ears and quickly drove the car out on to the main road before we were spotted. The last thing I’d need was for Torchwood to be accused of arson, the population of Cardiff already hated us enough.

“Back to the Hub?” I made myself ask though I could tell from the look on Gray’s face he hadn’t got the high he had been expecting from John’s death and he wanted to make me give it to him. Shit.

“Park on the wharf,” he said quietly. 

I nodded but watched him carefully out of the corner of my eye as we drove back into the Cardiff city centre. We arrived without much incident and I parked the car as he asked on the wharf, waiting for him to speak again.

“Get into the back seat,” he said, the commanding tone back in his voice as I unclipped my seatbelt. I opened my mouth to ask why, but didn’t dare question him at that moment now that I knew what he was capable of. We both got out of the front and I opened the back door, climbing inside and closing it behind me. The look he gave me said, ‘Lie down’ and I managed to repress a sigh as I slid on to my back, which was awkward on the seat, something I had got used to. Jack was an exhibitionist after all. 

He pulled my trousers down my legs and climbed in so he was straddling my thighs before closing the other back door behind him, causing my feet to hit the door. I swallowed as he pulled my legs over his shoulders and unzipped his jeans. I kept my gaze locked with his as he thrust deep inside me causing me to curse and cry with the pain. He continued a brutal pace, leaning over my body so our lips met, causing my next groan to vibrate between our lips. Finally I heard him moan with release and his jeans soon obscured his cock from my sore body. I heard the door open and he climbed out, leaving me to pull my trousers back up my body and do them up.

I locked the jeep and made a mental note to myself to sanitise the vehicle as soon as this was over because otherwise it would be all I could think of the next time Jack made a move on me, and that was definitely going to be a mood killer.


	8. I cut myself again and again to remind myself of you

He steered me in the back entrance and followed me to Jack’s bunker to gather the few remaining pieces of my outfit. I guess in a way I was expecting him to say I was staying there again. So I was surprised when he told me to grab my things because I wasn’t staying.

For a moment I thought he was going to kill me but he led me towards the cells and that was when I knew the special treatment was over....it was like he was resigning himself to the fact that Jack would be coming back soon so best to separate himself from me before then.

So it was little surprise that I didn’t feel like myself. I was mentally and physically broken beyond repair but it didn’t seem to matter to him. He’d got what he wanted and he obviously didn’t have any other need for me. It probably came with being in the position I was in and I found myself shuddering at the thought of the amount of other people he had used this way. Once the door to the cell closed behind me I sunk to the floor with my back resting against the door. Gray had done everything I never wanted to experience and I prayed it would never happen again.

“Ianto....”

Gwen’s tired yet emotional voice said my name from the cell beside me and caused my exhausted body to want to sigh in relief, but I lacked the strength to let it comply.

“Gwen...” I managed to say but my voice sounded all wrong. Sure I still had my Welsh accent but my voice was hoarse from what seemed like thousands of blow jobs he’d made me give, not to mention seven days of little food, yet at the same time all emotion was gone. No joy, no relief, no misery. Nothing.

“Thank god...are you ok?” she asked, her motherly tone nearly causing me to break down and cry, and I was sure Gray would love that.

“Not really....how about you?” I asked, flinching at the endless drawl that immerged from my lips.

“Definitely been better. I’d kill for something to eat...” she said with a soft yet obviously forced laugh.

“Join the club.”

“What happened to John? I mean, I know Gray reattached the bomb to his wrist but...”

“You don’t want to know, Gwen. Honestly, even I wished I didn’t know.” I sighed, though flashes of what had happened entered my mind’s eye. Things I’d been trying to suppress....fucking John to get the bomb back on.....letting Gray fuck me as he used my hand to press the detonator. My ears still rung from the sound of the explosion, and then Gray fucking me like a whore in the back seat of the jeep. A chill ran through me at each memory and I wished I’d grabbed some Retcon before Gray put me down here. What I wouldn’t give to forget the week from hell.

“So it’s just the two of us then...” she said, sadness hiding under the surface of her forced happy tone.

“Three....Jack’s still out there,” I said loud enough for her to hear.

“If he wanted to rescue us he would have done it by now.” She sighed in resignation as though she’d had that thought in her mind but was trying to be realistic.

I was too tired to argue and just curled up on the floor not far from the door, using my clothes as a pillow, praying I would just fall into unconsciousness. That when I woke Jack had saved us and we were together in my bed. That image in my head faded when I heard the sound of boot steps. Silently I prayed it wasn’t Gray, using another excuse to come and fuck me. But then I heard a curse in a voice that I’d been hearing for days in my dreams.

“Jesus!”

I could hear Gwen saying Jack’s name over and over to get his attention confirming that this wasn’t a dream. Finally. I pushed myself up from the floor and looked over my shoulder to see Jack standing in the middle of the corridor, a look of complete and utter horror combined with shock covering his features. I let my gaze move over his form to assure me it was really him, all the while pushing a weak smile on my face for his benefit as I slid my body up so I was actually facing the door as he pressed some buttons on his wrist strap and hurried into the cell to kneel beside me.

“Fuck, Ianto...what happened to you?” he whispered, wrapping his arms around my body, causing me to flinch a little at the touch even though I knew it was Jack and he would never do anything to hurt me.

I heard Gwen appear in the cell and looked up at her, watching her smile fade as she saw the state of me. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears as she moved towards me.

“I....I....” I couldn’t make myself speak as the tears began to well in my eyes and before I knew it, I was sobbing hysterically. Jack hushed me softly, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead as I began to cling to his body, practically aching for the reassurance and comfort this man could give me. The scent of roses filled my senses, reassuring me he was really back, instead of the sickly smell of strawberries, and calming me down at the same time. He slipped his coat from his shoulders and wrapped it around me to hide all the bruises and injuries on my skin that he probably couldn’t bear to look at.

He and Gwen both helped me steadily to my feet, each wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me as they helped me walk out of the cell. I finally felt safe again and it had never been so relieving. But I knew this wasn’t over despite how much I wished it was.

This ordeal was going to haunt me.

__

Fin.


End file.
